wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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