I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
