After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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