will power is for people who don't want to get laid
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
