seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
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It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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