I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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