Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
soo... how was my night?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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