I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
