It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
