So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
