i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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