So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Michael Bay diarrhea
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
