How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize