I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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