another moral hangover. fuck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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