....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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