If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
