I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
