I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
