either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
