Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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