could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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