the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize