...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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