I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
