What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
