I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
