i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize