have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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