When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
