you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
