grandma shit on top of the toilet
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
