im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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