He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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