dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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