It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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