Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you win again, gameday.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
