i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
two words: eviction party
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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