"it" just moved
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
