you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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