you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize