the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
