You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize