Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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