found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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