Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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