When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize