Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
