whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize