Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize