im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
