What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
