You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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