So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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