everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
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As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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