it was like eating out sand paper
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
