I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
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Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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