Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
