Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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