im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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